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wo de shen yin zai xiao/ lei zai biao/ dian hua na tou de ni ke zhi dao/ shi jie ruo shi na me xiao/ wei he wo de zhen xin ni ting bu dao
13.2.05 @ 23:31 All that i ever wanted never seemed to happen to me. I have done so much but nothing seems to come out of it. It's just amazing how things happen these days. Things that i wanted to happen never happened. Things that i wanted to own never ends up with me. People that I fall for never fall back for me. I really don't understand why this always happen to me. Is it that I've done something wrong in my past life or is fate playing jokes on me? This is not the first time this is happening. Somehow it always seems that those guys always fall for those people around me. I do not want to know the answer to the question that I might be hoping to know. I'm so afraid that what I've heard is true, which means that its hopeless for me. I just hope that those passing remarks are unreal. But I do not dare to ask. I'm so afraid to be heartbroken. I'm so afraid of the truth. I'm afraid if him knowing the truth. I've long forgotten how it feels to be heartbroken. But I'd rather lose the feeling than to recover that feeling once again. Or in simpler words about how I feel, I'm just afraid of it. I think too much about should or should I not do the things that I wanted to do that I forgot about what it means by the work 'risk'. I think and don't act. Whereas people normally act and don't think. Listening to the news, there's so much about tomorrow, valentine's day. It hurts the most when someone you feel for don't feel for you or he/she just simply don't know how you feel just cause you're too scared, just like me. If I'm too scared, the only thing that I can continue doing will be looking at him from afar, hoping that he doesn't realise, hoping that he'll just look my way and perhaps know how I feel. If not due to the fact that I had this feeling that things would work our fine for me with him, I wouldn't have admitted to myself that I do have this special feeling towards him. Or maybe it was just something that I thought of and not act upon, therefore causing the whole senario to be the way it is now. with love, xoxo |