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haiz
11.6.05 @ 20:58 i'm just thinking...what will happen if one day i disappear...and not return for days and days...i doubt anyone will realise...just maybe...if i lie to my mom that i go school when i actually miss lectures and tutorials...doubt anyone will notice...i just feel that my life is completly...erm...how to say it...oh yes...messed up...with all the wrong things happening at the wrong time...with all the wrong people appearing in the wrong time of my life...and with all those that matter disappearing from my life at the same time...it seriously just adds up to the whole crap that i'm going through...ya...one may say that everyone's the same...and everyone's feeling the same way...ya right...i feel so used now...one of my close friends in secondary school contacted me some days back cause he was going through some bad days...i was there for him as he was one of my closest friends...but now that the bad times are gone...well...let's just say it this way...he's no where to be found...and now is the time that i need someone to talk to...how pathetic...it just feels like i'm always there for people when they need me...but...they don't seem to be there when i need them to be there...i hate this...true...i hate this...it's been so long since i last used the word hate...and i'm using it all over again cause this whole thing is happening...it just feels all so familiar...there's the jerk in my life who's blind and never seem to notice what is going on around him...there's the bitch in my life who's doing all the bitching around...there's the friend in my life that's missing in action...it feels like secondary 1 days...or rather secondary one days with the knowledge of secondary 2...and no...the bitch is not someone who knows that i've got a blog...and no...she's not my close friend now...and yes...i don't talk to her...so...ya...it just adds up to crap...that's all i can say... with love, xoxo |