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lessons from relationships
5.5.07 @ 11:39 after the years of relationships, i've learnt quite a number of things from them. when you're not in it, but have a person in mind, don't look on the bright side. its always good to be slightly pessimistic about it. its better to be surprised if it goes well and feel nothing if nothing comes out of it rather than feeling normal for going well because you've already known it and feel like crap if nothing comes out of it. i've learnt my lesson. for me, its not like i'll just 'neutralise' every action of his, i do think of the brighter side occasionally. but i don't want to end up misunderstanding him. that's why i always see his actions as 'just nice' a certain action was done or think of it as 'he didn't mean it'. when you're in it, treasure every single hour, minute, second of it. love yourself, and more over, love your partner. even if you can't see each other, its fine. even if you are too busy with work or other stuff, that's fine. there's no need for these things to end up as topics for arguement. its not the price of the gifts, its the person who gives it. its not the one million and one words that were said during a quarrel, but the simple 'take care' when one is ill. i know some will take advantage of your partner by throwing tantrums at them, but at the end of it, nothing good comes out of it. at the end, you'll just regret throwing those tantrums. you'd rather you've spent more time caring and loving each other. when you're out of it and you're the one who initiated it, someday you'll regret it. not that i'm cursing. at some point in time, you'd think to yourself, why did i ask for it? what's so bad about the relationship? didn't i love him/her? although there might have been a really valid reason such as the partner not treating you the right way or you having some difficulties at that point in time, one should think as much when a split is concerned, more than when a union is. when you're the one whose heart was broken, don't feel sad. i know its hard to do, but sometimes you just have to accept the fact that the other person is no longer with you. don't think about the peron's bad points, think of all the happy times you've spent together. the laughs, the jokes, the food, the love. sure, the other person can take away the luxury of having the both of you together, but he/she sure can't take away your memories. its been said that no matter what happens, memories will always be yours. i do agree with that, wholeheartedly. even if you are no longer together, that doesn't mean that you can't still love the person, the only difference is now you have to love the person secretly, deep in your heart. if at the end of the day, 2 persons can split and still carry on as friends, i feel that it just mean that they weren't serious about their relationship. well, maybe there are exceptions, i don't know. but i feel that if they were serious, no matter how short the relationship was, its kind of impossible to stay as friends. you'll end up not knowing what to say to each other, even when you're supposed to have loads in common. even when out in a group, both of you will seem distant. well, maybe those lessons just apply to me. but at least those are the lessons that i've learnt. even if i'm left with not very long to get things back on track, i'll try. i don't want to regret anything, when it concerns you. with love, xoxo |