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mc again
26.6.07 @ 14:31 yes, i'm at home. and yes, i took mc today, again. so now i've only 3 more days of mc that i can take. 3 more days ... in another 3 months. that's more than enough. last night talked with jolene and webster on our way to the bus stop. talked and talked and talked. 2 emo girls and a happy guy. hah. how much weirder can a conversation get? these days, i don't really look forward to band pracs anymore. or at least i don't look forward to it as much as i did. maybe its because of the absence. but i don't know. i no longer make an effort to get out of work as early as possible to get on the earliest and fastest bus ride to get back to school. take yesterday for example. i reached the bus stop at 6.10 and instead of taking 93 which will get me to tp fastest, i took 157 and transfered to 8. the total time i took was like 1.5hours. which means that i reached band room around 7.40? ya. if i had taken 93, i would have reached at 7.15, because 6.15's 93 is the earlier bus compared to the normal one that i take. so, what does this mean? am i getting bored of band? i don't know. maybe something else is lacking too. i'm not sure what. or maybe, i'm just in a state of confusion where i don't really know anything for sure. when i'm in band, i feel irritated. especially last night when lihong was trying hard to talk to the band and people are just talking non-stop. i kept shh-ing people but they just keep on talking. why can't everyone just be quiet for 5minutes and let lihong finish what he has to say? is it that diffiicult? i don't understand. i'm not targeting anyone in particular here. i'm talking about in a whole. everyone's talking or playing or doing their own stuff, loudly. not many were quietly listening to him. or at least from what i saw. i feel kind of detached from those i were close to. first, my secondary school best friend, joanna. i read her blog but yet i don't know what's happening in her life now. maybe its my fault that i didn't go out with her since last year. but i don't know. everything's different now. second, my course friends, georgina and kareen. me and kareen were close in 2.1 but since 2.2 till now, i haven't really talked with her like i did in 2.1. is it my fault again that i didn't ask her out for lunch or dinner? georgie. i haven't talked to her face to face since jiazhen's chalet, which is like 3 months since then. she's always busy i guess, with work, church and of course her boyfriend. i'm just hoping that everytime i ask her about her and him, she won't tell me she's quarrelling with him again. and of course, most importantly, my band people. its weird, because in band, the only person that i really talk my heart out now is jolene. other than her, i rarely talk with the rest, like randy, eden, hanna, olivia, isaac (other than irritating each other), zhexing, matthew, mark, law wei ... the list goes on. back in my year 2 days, all of us had so much to crap about, from band to school to everything under the sun. but now, the group of us rarely really talk. maybe just an exchange of 1 or 2 sentences along the corridor or in the band room after practice. i don't know, all of us seem so distant now. is it just me or is it the truth? this is what happens when you're at home, sitting in front of the laptop, not knowing what to do with the rest of the afternoon and end up thinking about things. when i went to the doctor this morning, i asked her, why do i have migranes? she said: "hmm, maybe you should learn to relax more. you can try swimming (at this point in time my mom said, she can't swim. and i said what about dry swimming? :D) or yoga or meditation. maybe its just stress." actually, she might not be really answering to my question, but what she says does make sense. its been a really long time since i've had a good long laugh or a good time playing and stuff. maybe its time i take time out and relax, not slack. stress? i don't feel stress. but even last night, webster said that i look stress. but the thing is i don't know what i'm stressed about. maybe its nothing? i need a massage to relax now. on a happier note, last night, we found out more words that jolene can't really pronounce. - vegetables - 心理作用 - social studies don't worry jolene, you'll get those words right someday. practice makes perfect, so ... keep saying those words!! haha. with love, xoxo |