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26.2.08 @ 17:22 i don't know why i fuc-ing care. i don't even know why i fuc-ing bother. what the fuc-. if my life is a movie, this scene would be one that shows me sitting in a pub, drinking dozens of glasses of vodka to drown myself. and then i'll be dragged away by some person and killed or whatever-ed because i don't fuc-ing care about life anymore. fuc-. i really hate it when i'm left alone. it's like i get fuc-ing depressed when i'm alone these days. being aimless and goalless and emptiness is fuc-ed up. i totally fuc-ing hate this. i haven't been so fuc-ed up depressed for a long long time. i can't believe that i'm depressed for 3/4 of the days since law exam. fuc-, what the fuc- is wrong with me? ya, i might be normal when i'm with (most) people. but i just hate it when i'm alone. i get so lost and what not's when it's like that. i want to cry, but tears can't seem to get out. i need a vodka. i need a drink. i need to cry. fuc- lar. how much longer do i have to tolerate this fuc-ing shit? how much longer do you intend on not telling me? fuc- i need a distraction. you'll know where to look if you know me well enough. with love, xoxo |