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rainbow bottledsand- bottledsand- bottledsand- bottledsand- meteora looking forward to TAIWAN trip sunshine public holidays money drop from up above exercise schedule bees roses amanda april aqidah baldwin benson boon heng clement sim desmond quek eden eileen aw georgina ooi hariani huizhen jaclyn jasmine jerome joanna mai jocelin tan jolene tan jonathan tan joyce jing ting kareen kenny tan khairul le ying lihong louisa tan marlina mark toh matthew meijuan melissa leong ms chuah mu en qing hui randy raphael razanah shuyi/suming/weishan stefenie wang min wei jie yile yong woei zhi mei zhuo jie daisies > October 2004 > November 2004 > December 2004 > January 2005 > February 2005 > March 2005 > April 2005 > May 2005 > June 2005 > July 2005 > August 2005 > September 2005 > October 2005 > November 2005 > December 2005 > January 2006 > February 2006 > March 2006 > April 2006 > May 2006 > June 2006 > July 2006 > August 2006 > September 2006 > October 2006 > November 2006 > December 2006 > January 2007 > February 2007 > March 2007 > April 2007 > May 2007 > June 2007 > July 2007 > August 2007 > September 2007 > October 2007 > November 2007 > December 2007 > January 2008 > February 2008 > March 2008 > April 2008 > May 2008 > June 2008 > July 2008 > August 2008 > September 2008 > October 2008 > November 2008 > December 2008 > January 2009 > February 2009 > March 2009 > April 2009 > May 2009 > July 2009 > November 2009 > June 2010 credits skin by: Jane |
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29.2.08 @ 01:30 it's devastating to know that sometimes, people that you think know you best, actually know sh-t about you. it's devasatating to know, that people whom you thought would always be there for you, actually won't be there when you need most. it's devastating to know, that when you need people to talk to, people you wish to talk to just don't give a sh-t. // a 15 minute walk through the park on new year's eve managed to clear my thoughts from a heartbreak. but now, even now, a 30 minute walk around the same park couldn't help a single bit to organise my thoughts. // what used to bring laughter can now only bring on a forced smile. there're times when i want to be alone. but now, i'd rather die than be alone. i've never had such a strong urge to want to drive onto another car, or let a car hit me and let me die. // where's the shoulder when i need one to lean on? where's the comforting words when i need some to get well? where's the tears when i need some? where's the joy in life when i've lost it? // i have to force myself so hard to have a teardrop or two roll down my cheek. it's not crying when you have to force the tears out. // that's the exact reason why i didn't want to talk. with a time limit , there's no reason why i should be able to. why? why ask when there's a limit? what's the point? // great. i've got 5 out of the 8 possible symptoms. if it persists for more than 2 weeks, it's proven. it's been a week, just another 7 more days. gosh, what'd i do if i really get into it? i don't want to become like him. i told myself that 6 years ago. but it seems like i've become what i dread. i thought that after 8 years, i'd finally be able to get out of the country for more than a day. but it seems that, it would be a dream, a fantasy for that to happen. even after graduation, i've got other commitments. driving test, looking for job, helping out. these don't allow me to get out of the country. i really don't know why i thought about going Taiwan and Hong Kong for a holiday some time back. someone save me. looks like i overestimated. with love, xoxo |